A Crack in the Foundation

I have a tip for people who wear pants that don't fit them, especially if you're bootylicious. Buy some pants that fit you. For goodness sake don't sit down at a bar and let your pants slip down.

Today at a restaurant I sat facing a guy who obviously should have heard this tip before he got dressed today.

He was the mayor of Crackville.

It was a six inch crack sandwich in denim bread.

It was plumber's crack and he was charging holiday rates.

You could have hidden a small puppy in that thing.

Believe me, it was gross.

Do me a favor: don't put some other kid through the torture I endured today. Buy some pants that fit and wear a belt.

The Upside and Downside of Travel

Traveling to grandparents' houses is fun, because you can sit in the van and watch movies.  Traveling can be convenient to allow you to catch up on things you haven't had time to do.

I love my grandmas and I like visiting them.

The only problem is if you get car sick and vomit.  Gross!

Well Wishes to a Friend in Need

I have friend, who is a table parent at my Wednesday night church program, who has cancer and is really sick.  My tip is that you should always be nice to your friends in need.  You should send them cards, like we did at my church.  You should do special things for them, like we sang a special song on a CD for my friend (aka "the Vampire" -- he helps with American Red Cross blood drives).  And you should write something nice about them, like I'm doing now.

I also want to tell my friend that I'm thinking of you and I hope you feel better!

Say a prayer for my friend, his wife, and his family.

Swab the Throat, Matey! Arrrrrgh . . . .

Being sick is terrible, espcially if you have a sore throat.  You might have to get your throat swabbed to test for Strep.  It hurts.  Bad.