I have a tip for people who wear pants that don't fit them, especially if you're bootylicious. Buy some pants that fit you. For goodness sake don't sit down at a bar and let your pants slip down.
Today at a restaurant I sat facing a guy who obviously should have heard this tip before he got dressed today.
He was the mayor of Crackville.
It was a six inch crack sandwich in denim bread.
It was plumber's crack and he was charging holiday rates.
You could have hidden a small puppy in that thing.
Believe me, it was gross.
Do me a favor: don't put some other kid through the torture I endured today. Buy some pants that fit and wear a belt.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
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